


Into your dreams I crawl

by TH_Writes



Series: A Portrait [2]
Category: Tanz der Vampire - Steinman/Kunze
Genre: Brief mention of homophobic violence, Do not repost, Don't copy to another side, Implied/Referenced Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24719554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TH_Writes/pseuds/TH_Writes
Summary: Sequel to "Through the fog of memory"Alfred is now stuck at the castle of Krolock with Professor Abronsius and the Mitternachtsball is nearing. Tormented by dreams and memories Alfred has to ask why he's so adamant about saving Sarah. And how far he would go for the rescue.
Relationships: Alfred/Graf von Krolock (Tanz der Vampire)
Series: A Portrait [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1788403
Comments: 11
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The sequel is here! And once again thanks a lot to Calimera for letting me bounce ideas off of her <3  
> And with it a ton of dreams and memories Alfred doesn't want to deal with. Too bad that I am the writer here xD  
> This fic is also named: Just how many dreams and memories can one person have in 48 hours and not break down completely. And it got a bit longer so I split it in two chapters.  
> Notes for the fic:  
> In the musical Alfred and Abronsius share a bed. In the movie they have separated rooms and I want with that option for writing purposes.  
> Also, Anna may has died physically but she hasn't died as my means to push Alfred and Krolock further together. God have mercy on her soul cause I don't apparently.

The impression Alfred had gotten from the outside of the castle didn’t change once Count von Krolock had invited them in. It was old and dark and hadn’t seen any more modern restauration in probably hundreds of years. Alfred hoped that the rooms the Count had offered them would not be in the same state. Though with his headache he probably would sleep on the floor too if he had to.

He wanted to follow Professor Abronsius who was led by the hunchback servant they had seen in front of the tavern before. The Professor had been right about the correlation of a hunched servant and the presence of a Count which Alfred found astonishing. What a brilliant detail to take into account!

"Alfred", the Count called for him, speaking out his name in a familiar tone. Not like he just heard Alfred's name from Professor Abronsius. Alfred turned, avoiding to look at the Count’s son Herbert who had fixated on him since they had set foot in the castle. "You lost something."

In his long-fingered hand he held the sponge that Sarah had gifted him. Alarmed Alfred came close, trying to take the proof of Sarah's affection from the claws of the nobleman. But just before Alfred could grab the sponge Count von Krolock retracted his hand, making Alfred stop.

He stood so close now, the Count towering over him. Alfred's heart hammered in his chest, his stomach knotted itself from a weird tension that befell him. He looked up at dark eyes that bewitched him in an instant and like the Count calling his name this felt familiar.

"I was afraid that my invitation had missed you", Count von Krolock said calmly and unaffected by the tension. "Or that you wouldn't come despite the invitation. It has been nearly a decade, hasn't it?" Hotly the image of the red card with golden handwriting burned in Alfred's mind. So it hasn't been a switch up. It had been for him. By the sciences, he once had met a nobleman and had so utterly forgotten him. Alfred felt the shame deep in his bones.

"I fear...", he stuttered up, face burning and eyes lowered to the ground. "...I fear to say that I-I do not remember you, Your Excellency." He swallowed painfully. The insult this presented to the Count made Alfred want to cower or flee. "I-I think something of me does remember you but I do not...I do not have any clear memory..." Alfred became quieter and smaller with his failed attempt to lessen the insult, trying to shrink into himself or better into the ground where the Count wouldn't have to look at such an ungrateful person as Alfred.

The Count was silent for a moment. Alfred could feel his eyes on him and he didn't dare to breathe. Didn't dare to look into a face that surely would show rightful anger. Just when Alfred thought he would faint from a lack of oxygen, the Count spoke.

"That is unexpected but understandable", he hummed thoughtfully, surprising Alfred with the lack of anger or hurt ego. Alfred took a careful breath that made his head spin already. "You were under immense distress then, especially for your young age. Few recover well from that. Though I am glad to see that you did do well for yourself so far."

Alfred was just utterly confused at that point. His head spun from finally getting some air again. The headache hadn't let up yet and made it impossible for him to even search for any snippet of memory. When he looked up, he saw the Count taxing the sponge in his hand with mild interest.

"Even if I do wonder what a young, curious man like you wants with an old fool as this Professor who only bosses you around. And doesn't understand..." Count von Krolock wandered around Alfred's back while talking, still eyeing the sponge. "...what fascinates you." Coming to a hold at Alfred's other side, he offered him the sponge once again and finally looked at Alfred once more.

The latter didn't reach for the sponge just yet, fearing the embarrassment should the Count snatch it away from him in the last second again. A game cruelly played on him by other children once too often. He also found himself unable to move away instead. Not when the Count looked at him with the hint of a soft smile and understanding eyes.

"Professor Abronsius has a great mind of science", Alfred heard himself defend the Professor. The Count didn't changed the way he looked at Alfred or his outstretched hand.

"But has he the mind to show you what you actually want to know?", he asked, the sponge swaying to the side with a subtle movement of his wrist. "Does anything he teaches you fulfil you?" Alfred only starred at the Count who seemed to know so frighteningly much about him. "You are diligent and loyal, Alfred. That makes you a better man than him. But even I can see that your mind isn't captured by the same things your Professor’s mind is. If you give me just a little of your trust, I could show you things you will find more interest in."

Finally Alfred reached for the sponge, only realising this when he felt the material under his fingers. It seemed to break a spell in him. Reminded him that he was here because he needed to find Sarah and bring her home. But the mystery of his missing memory, of the aching in his lungs, threatened to pull him away from that.

"I still don't know where we meet", he admitted quietly. Trying to put the doubt like a protection between him and the Count whose smile morphed into something else, something more hidden.

"We have spent a night together. Or at least spend a few hours of that night in each other's company." Alfred felt the blood rush into his cheeks although the Count seemed to state this all rather matter-of-factly but still. He really couldn't mean...? No, this was absurd! Alfred needed to go to bed immediately. He was exhausted and the headache did him no favour when it came to clearing his mind.

"I had enjoyed our conversation then", the Count added with something like a smirk to it. "Ah, Koukol." The servant had returned and Alfred wondered how much he had witnessed. "Please, bring young Alfred to his room, will you?" Koukol grunted and after a releasing hand gesture from Krolock Alfred stumbled after the servant.

Alfred lay awake in his bed, unable to find sleep despite being physically and mentally exhausted. Through the wooden door that separated his and the Professor's room he could barely hear the old man snore which made him anxious now that he'd gotten used to hearing it fairly loudly beside him the past weeks. His mind replayed the conversation. Alfred had hoped that the distance would put his mind to rest but it hadn't. Hours later, the sun threatened to soon rise, he still lay awake and mulled over all the things the Count had said.

The wording of having "spent the night together" was so suggestive even though Alfred was very sure that it hadn't been like that. It probably all had been very civil. The Count himself had said that he had enjoyed their conversation. Most likely he just tried to get a rise out of Alfred in retaliation to Alfred forgetting him. Though it was a horrifying joke to make since such insinuations could kill you in the wrong company. It had been a joke albeit a cruel one.

Alfred still wondered though. Why couldn't he remember? There had been something when he had first laid eyes on Count von Krolock in front of the castle but that had all but vanished by now. No, not vanished. More like...it was like you searched for a word and it lay on the tip of your tongue but you still couldn't get it to come out. If he could only pinpoint the When at least.

Count von Krolock had spoken about it being nearly a decade. Adding the remark about his mental distress into the memory search lead him to… "Oh", Alfred made a noise into the night. It must have been around the death of his mother and Anna. It was a time where he either had no memory or very little of it for weeks. This must be it! But then...what?

Alfred groaned, pressed the pillow to his face and turned in the bed. The headache threatened to become a migraine by now. He pressed his eyes shut. He needed to find sleep for at least the last few hours or he would be of no use to the Professor. Eventually his body overrode his mind and he fell into exhausted sleep.

_> >It was dark where he was. And in that darkness he could feel them, following him, showing their teeth, growling and hissing like wild animals. Waiting for him to fall or stop running. Waiting for just one little second of weakness. They were all around and Alfred's heart nearly jumped out his throat by now. He needed to get away. He needed to find safety somewhere in this all-encompassing night._

_Someone was calling him. It sounded like Sarah first, then like Anna and then again like Sarah. He wasn't sure if in warning or to lead him to safety. He hoped the latter and followed. The outlines of a door in the distance seemed like a hallucination at first. The ghost of security. But then it became more solid and Alfred sprinted as fast as he could towards it. Something behind it calling for him._

_He ripped the door open, tumbling into a warmly lit world and throwing the door close behind him. Heart hammering in his chest, he looked around. It was a small house library. Rain thundered against the windows outside. Nothing more than a fire lighting up the place and in front of that sat..._

_"Count von Krolock?", Alfred wheezed out, still exhausted from running for his life. The Count, pale like ice even in the shine of the fire, looked at him. Eyes dark and gaze bewitching._

_"Would you mind...", the Count's regal voice filled the silence, "...keeping me company for a while?" The Yes was pushed out of Alfred's mouth by his heart before he could think about it. <<_

"-ke up! Wake up, boy!" The angry voice of Professor Abronsius cut through the deep state of sleep like a knife and Alfred shot up in his bed. Professor Abronsius grumbled about the lazy youth these days. "You should keep the curtains open. The sun will wake you up naturally", Professor Abronsius started to lecture him on the natural sleeping cycle. Alfred clambered out of his bed and hastily dressed all the while. He could have sworn that he had left the curtains open the night before.

The Professor was adamant about them finding the crypt first because during the height of the day the danger of the alleged vampires waking up was the lowest. It was an overall miserable affair for Alfred. It was nearly ice cold down in the crypt and no matter the reason there was just something disturbing about opening coffins. Especially while your Professor yelled at you from where he hung at a balustrade.

The Krolocks indeed looked like fresh corpses. Skin so waxy and white, bloodless. And yet they looked so immaculate like they could wake up every second. Just grabbing Alfred's wrist and biting into it. Immediately fear bubbled up in Alfred and he wanted nothing but to flee this dark place. By now his mind had convinced him that the Count would wake up just when Alfred was about to kill him. Because human or not this was murder and Alfred didn’t want to be a murderer.

The spike shook terribly in his hand. His mind was in a frenzy from fright so that he had it upside down over the Count at first. Count von Krolock lay under the wooden spike, sleeping and ultimately defenceless against the tiring spell of the day. Guilt started to fill Alfred as he saw the Count like this. He felt as if he would pay a great disservice to the Count. Or maybe as if he owned the Count a gesture of mercy back.

Professor Abronsius tried to remind him where to hammer the spike but Alfred couldn't catch a clear thought. He lifted the hammer multiple times, trying to follow the Professor's orders like he had for so long but the power over his body seemed to leave him. He couldn't do it. There were the flickers of his dream, of a library and a shelter of some kind. He knew he owned the Count something and he was more afraid of being ungrateful than of the Count being a vampire.

"I can't do it", he admitted after hammer and spike had clattered to the stone floor. Professor Abronsius nearly had a heart attack before he chided Alfred an idiot and a wimp the whole way up to the castle again. But Alfred only felt glad for his clear conscious.

Professor Abronsius needed a short rest after that disappointment before he wanted to explore the castle further. Alfred silently waited in his own room for the Professor to calm down again. While doing so he thumbed through his own notebook. Thinking about all the preparations they had made for this trip and all the plans. Everything that had shattered now that Alfred hadn't been able to kill Count von Krolock.

At least Alfred finally knew why he had been so eager to come to Transylvania. A part of him still remembered loose parts of the mysterious meeting of the Count. Though Alfred was now left to wonder. If Count von Krolock was a vampire why hadn't he killed Alfred back then? He must have found Alfred in distress and defenceless after his sister's death and with that Alfred would have been the easiest prey.

Why hadn't he then? What had stayed his hand all those years ago? Alfred hadn't worn a cross or anything on him, his belief in God as superficial as his family's. So hadn't he needed to feed that particular night? Or had something like sympathy stayed his hand? Maybe even just pity for the young fool Alfred had been back then? Or a lack of enticing interest? Whatever it had been, Alfred would have felt like a traitor had he now killed the Count as he had been as defenceless as Alfred must have been nine years ago.

But it didn't answer the question of the invitation. Alfred's finger thoughtfully stroked over it's edges when he reached the page he had hid it in. It couldn't be called politeness anymore. It had been nine years without any contact and so there was no social obligation for the Count to invite Alfred. But then what? It could hardly be called affection of some sort, could it? Maybe boredom. The lack of contact with others this location brought with it. Maybe he had merely heard from some merchant passing by about the two Prussian strangers and had decided to use this opportunity. Something in him whispered that the invitation to the Mitternachtsball had even more sinister reasons. He had guests to feed after all. Alfred swallowed hard.

He decided that it must have been this. Because in no way the Count would have any obligatory affection to a young, snivelling student he had met once in Königsberg. Nor would anything about Alfred brought up interest for his company in the Count. The thought strangely hurt but it was the only logical conclusion to be drawn. Vehemently Alfred slammed his notebook shut, feeling like he squashed something between the pages which turned his stomach.

The sooner they left this place, the better for them all. They only needed to find Sarah and go.

They found the big library of the castle and for a moment there seemed to exist little else for either of them. Professor Abronsius seemed to find every book immediately but for Alfred the spell shadowed in the face of the blatant disregard for any kind of ordering system. He wondered if anyone had ever bothered and if the Krolocks simply knew by now where they had put which book after all those years.

So Alfred started to look around more and take in the room’s design. Immediately he noticed the fireplace with a seating arrangement in front of it. One of multiple seating arrangements but the picture of the armchairs by the fire made Alfred antsy. For all the answers he had found he still didn't know why his mind and body reacted so weirdly to it all. He didn’t like the most obvious answer.

"Professor, we need to find Sarah", he insisted towards Professor Abronsius who has half-way up a ladder to read book titles. The Professor barely looked at him when he answered half-mindedly:

"You find everything here. All the Greeks and the Romans! Humanists and Moralists and Causalists! Explorers of nature and the Occultists! And nearly everything first print!"

"Professor, I am sure Sarah must be around here. We have no time. It's getting dark!", Alfred pleaded. He just wanted to get away from this place and the confusion it brought to him.

"My boy, there is always time for the classics!", the Professor objected strongly and his beady little eyes flashed sharp with indignation. Alfred wanted to say something more but Professor Abronsius turned around again and then stalked further down the shelves, accumulating books left and right.

Alfred was torn between following him and going alone to search for Sarah. Even if close to the evening, it was still day. It would be safe, wouldn't it? He only peaked his head out the door and starred down the dark and empty corridors. The yawning blackness as if it was already deep into the night. Alfred shivered and wanted to withdraw again when he heard it.

The clearest, bell-like singing. Sarah! He stumbled out the library in haste and followed the sweet voice until he reached another room. Without thinking he ran in. Sarah sank lower in the tub with a shriek, letting the towering soap bubbles completely cover her. To Alfred's relief she was unharmed.

Urgently he told her that he and the Professor would free her from here. That she needed to be careful because the Count had no good intentions with her. But she didn't seem to hear him. Instead describing all the things Count von Krolock had gifted her – first and foremost a big sponge and a dark red dress. Said dress hung not far away and it made Alfred's heart sink.

He tried again to break through to her; to make her understand that she was doomed if she stayed and that he just wanted to rescue her and return her to her family. But Sarah showed herself unreasonable, talked about how caged she was with her family anyway, and Alfred only feared all the more for her. So when she told him to leave as she would change, he told her that he would be back in a moment and to wait for him. Then he hurried back to the library to get Professor Abronsius.

In the library he could hear the Professor still whisper faintly between the shelves. Alfred ran to him, trying to tell him that he had found Sarah and that they needed to act now. But Professor Abronsius didn't seem to hear him. Instead listing him all the books Alfred needed to read to understand the fundaments of the world and it's logic – more than half of which Alfred had already read. When Alfred urged again, the Professor said:

"Yes, yes. In a moment." Alfred grid his teeth behind his desperate smile as the Professor walked to the next aisle. He wanted to rip his hairs out in frustration but instead decided to take some breaths, walking up and down the row of shelves he currently was in. They had no time. The sun was sinking. And the dreaded ball was supposed to take place the next night already. Would there be vampires from elsewhere come to visit? If so they soon be surrounded by blood-thirsty undead beasts!

The thought of describing the Count as a beast made Alfred stop in his tracks. It felt wrong. The Count was no mindless beast. He had spared Alfred's young life after all and he had been even courteous towards him. Showing some kind of friendliness and care that didn't seem to fit in with their short meeting a decade ago. Count von Krolock was a vampire but he seemed the furthest from a mere beast!

As Alfred stood there, thoughts buzzing from left to right like a swarm of angry bees, his eyes landed on a small table at the end of the row. A globe stood on it and beside it lay an old small book. To occupy his hands, Alfred idly turned the globe and watched the continents morph into each other. The image made his heart sink.

_> >"Look at all these countries", Anna said with wonder to him as she softly pulled his attention from his book to the globe their father had bought. "Look how small we are on it. There are so many more countries and people like us but not like us all over these continents."_

_"That's a lot of people", Alfred dumbly replied, watching his sister's eyes studying every line on the ball with sparking interest. "Do you want to go there?"_

_"I can't, Alfred. Father would never even let me. You know that", she answered with a sad smile._

_"But what if? We could a hot air balloon and fly anywhere you wanted! Like they do in Jules Verne's books! We could even go into all the oceans. Father wouldn't stop us there."_

_"I love you, Alfred", she only whispered and it nearly broke Alfred's young heart. <<_

Alfred huffed and blinked away his tears. That was the last he needed now, to be so violently reminded of Anna. Of how their father had blocked any way for her to find happiness and freedom in life. Of how much she still had loved and taken care of Alfred despite all her frustration and bitterness. Now here he was in Transylvania, and yes it was in the clutches of a vampire Count out for their blood but...he had made it farther away from home than she could have ever imagined herself getting.

His fingers recoiled from the globe as if burned. He wished Anna would be here now. She would have listened to him. Maybe she would have even been able to persuade Sarah to come with them. Maybe she even would have had the strength to kill the Count and his son in their coffins. But then maybe she wouldn't have out of some sense of respect she always had had for life in any form.

Alfred's hand now found the book on the table but it proved just as heart-breaking a reminder as the globe. It was so small, barely bigger than Alfred's hands and in faded paint the title stood on the cover: Ratgeber für Verliebte. Wie man ein Herz gewinnt.

_> >"Would Michael have let you travel?", a 10-years-old Alfred had asked a week after their father had bought the globe. A week after he had made Anna swear to never see Michael again. Alfred really didn't understood why because Michael came from a merchant family with international clientele. He was prestigious, as Alfred's father liked to say. Alfred never understood his father though._

_"I don't know. Maybe I would just have been another housewife with him as well", Anna had replied quietly and with a tired lilt as she tried to make it sound more positive than it was._

_"Do you think Joseph will take you travelling?"_

_"What is it about you and travelling now?", Anna had tried to laugh._

_"I just...I don't understand why you're suddenly thinking about marrying Joseph after father introduced you two. I thought you loved Michael." There was silence for a moment, only disturbed by the sound of the street outside the window. Anna slowly closed her book in her lap._

_"Sometimes...", she started, "...what or who we want isn't the right one for us. We may see someone and think they promise everything we want in life and love. But that's not always true. Sometimes we find fulfilment in the less exciting or the more convenient relationships if we only try to see past our own wishes."_

_"And you think Joseph is the better option?"_

_"It seems reasonable that I can manage to be as happy with him as I would have been with Michael."_

_"But...are you in love with him like with Michael?"_

_"That does not matter. Because it's not just about me." Alfred clearly didn't understood adults. <<_

Anna hadn't married Joseph either. To this day Alfred didn't know why father had opposed that binding in the end but he had and with that Anna had remained unmarried and with the family. Looking back Alfred understood his sister's plight a bit more. She had always been caged by their father. There was so much she had wanted to do, would have been capable of doing, and so much she had wanted to see other than Königsberg. Hamburg already had been exciting at first but...Alfred knew that she always had wanted to get out of Prussia. She never had gotten the chance in the end.

"So!" Alfred jumped when books were slapped together loudly on the other side of the shelf. "I have all my bed time lectures. Now we can see after your little lady, Alfred." The Professor looked at him over the brim of the books from the other side of the shelf. Alfred nodded numbly and without protest took the tower of books from his Professor as they strode out into the dark corridor, now sparsely lit by torches.

When Alfred found the bathroom again, Sarah was gone as was the dress. The tub had been drained already. Alfred was crest-fallen. Why hadn't she waited for him as he had told her? The Professor took a look around but found no sign of a struggle or blood being drawn and so he seemed unconcerned.

"She may went to bed already. As any reasonable person does to this time. And as should we. Tomorrow is another day and she will not leave this castle. Not with that much snow outside and at night. We still have time then." And with that Professor Abronsius moved forward and back towards their rooms. Alfred didn't feel like sleeping but rather pathetically like crying.

Once again Alfred turned in his bed while on the other side of the door he faintly heard the Professor snore. Once again he couldn't sleep because his thoughts ran a mile a minute. This time though he felt distinctly more like crying with the memory of Anna so close to the surface, the sinking feeling when nobody listened to him still lingering in his stomach, and the realization that the Count's invitation had been send out of boredom and the need for food at his ball. Alfred never had been a strong young man, he knew this. But never had he felt so weak in a place like in this castle. This weakness seemed to shadow all other trying times and it frightened him.

Maybe this all and the fact that he started to become sleep-deprived, factored into him standing up, dressing again and walking out into the barely lit corridors. His anxiety was still there but his fear didn't spike. He had grabbed his coat, hunching over a little under it to keep warm. Alfred felt weak and sick and he didn't really understood why so he walked forward as if there was a goal of safety to be reached.

He found himself back at the library. The fireplace had been lit but when Alfred shyly called a greeting into the room nobody answered. The cracking wood in the fire was all that made noise in the big room. As if steered by some force Alfred moved towards the armchairs that had made him feel queasy just hours before. He sank into one of them.

There was a moment in which he expected some icy pain to overtake him or something. But instead he felt strangely comforted sitting here. All anxiety and fear and all the sinking feelings seemed to slowly die down with every new crack from the firewood. He stripped out of his coat with tired bones just to wrap himself in it like in a blanket.

Sitting in front of a fireplace in a library, getting warmed and comforted while mourning Anna. It was such an unnerving situation for Alfred nine years after his sister's death and yet it was familiar. And maybe that was what made him weak in this place. A subconscious repeat of the first time he had met the Count. It must be something like this because otherwise Alfred couldn't explain his own strange behaviour and feelings.

Turning his head to one of the big windows he found the curtains open. It was a clear night with stars strewn over the sky and the moon shining into the library. A silvery stripe of moon light was drawn to Alfred, not quite touching him due to the fire's light but still reaching for him. Like a pale hand placed comforting on his arm.

Alfred shivered but it wasn't from cold or fear. It was a languorous shiver which was probably supposed to startle him but in this moment it didn't. Too tired to decipher this and too tired to deal with another bout of anxiety, Alfred sank lower into the armchair. His eyes blinking rapidly now. And then sleep finally took him.

_> >He felt the letter under his fingers, already softening in certain spots where Alfred had touched it and unfolded it so many times in the last hours. The rain was thundering against the small roof he had found shelter under. In some side street between a shop and a house. Like a beggar. A homeless boy. He felt like one._

_A figure appeared in the mouth of the street. Nearly black and illuminated from behind brightly by the streetlamp. Rain cascading down it's equally dark umbrella. It looked frighteningly like the grey veil of a ghost - a widow died to soon and cursed to roam, or a nun of ill intent. But also, on a second look, there seemed to be wings of an angel on his back. Only they were an illusion and build with the misery of pouring rain._

_Alfred stood up and came out of hiding. The rain didn't fell on him anymore and when the figure stepped closer, the side street vanished. And with it the illusion of wings as the Count now looked down on Alfred. The latter wondered if the Count sometimes wished his wings to be true too._

_They were back in the small library by the fireplace. Alfred could feel the clothes on his body, ill-fitted but soft. His brain seemed to sigh at that. Finally having found the missing puzzle piece in it's memory and holding it close in relief. Alfred was seated, a blanket thrown over him and he wondered if he shouldn't be asleep right now. The Count stepped in front of him fully now._

_A hand reached for Alfred. A finger stroking feather light over his jaw while Alfred could only look up at the Count. A gaze so bewitching that he felt like he wouldn't breathe without the Count telling him so. The finger wandered down his neck. Leaving a trail of burning touch where his pulse lay._

_The feeling of a memory broke when the Count's fingers stroked up his neck again and up under his chin in a come-hither-motion. A sharp nail barely refraining from scratching his skin. The Count grabbed his chin and pulled him a little up and forward with no mercy. Alfred swallowed hard. The dark eyes of the Count studied his face with languish intrigue that made Alfred's heart beat faster. Something long supressed in him startled awake and shed it's skin of anxiety and tension it had hid behind so long._

_A twinkle in the Count's eyes. A thumb that stroked over Alfred's bottom lip. Inside him it screamed. He could hear Anna warning him in fear of his life. He could hear everyone else cheering as skin was scratched up under rough wood. Stumme Sünden. Silent sins. He couldn't. He couldn't._

_"Sssh, my boy", the Count soothed with a voice like satin. "You don't need to speak of them." The thumb now pressed cold against Alfred's mouth. "Let them be silent if it eases you. Let me speak to you instead." And the Count bowed down. Alfred pressed his eyes shut and held his breath in horror. <<_

"Alfred." For a second Alfred believed to still hear the voice in his dream. His whole body was tensed in the armchair. "Alfred." The voice didn't change in intensity but now Alfred realized that he wasn't dreaming anymore. He opened his eyes.

The Count stood right before him and Alfred physically startled in shock. He probably would have jumped out the armchair if not for the Count's hand coming down to his shoulder and holding him in place. Alfred felt his cheeks heat up at the touch even when the Count let go of him again.

"I apologize", the Count said. "It wasn't my intention to startle you." Alfred needed a moment to come to his senses fully and realized that he had slept in in the library.

"I-i am so sorry, Your Excellency", he stammered. "It wasn't my intention...I...Terribly sorry. I better go now." But the Count only hushed him softly and with something like a smile tugging at his lips.

"Calm down, Alfred. I only intended to inquire if you'd rather sleep in your bed instead of here." Count von Krolock still stood too close for Alfred to simply stand up without risking to knock him over. So Alfred remained where he was.

"I couldn't sleep and...I don't know...", Alfred mumbled into the collar of his coat while averting his eyes in shame. He noticed that the fire wood had been restocked. How long had he slept? "I am truly sorry, Your Excellency. I will remove myself at once."

"Don't." Alfred froze in his place. "I do not wish you to. If you are not too tired I rather you'd keep me company for a while." Alfred silently nodded. "Good." Krolock seated himself in the other armchair and Alfred felt nearly cold from the small distance now between them.

At first neither made conversation. The Count seemed content to browse in some books as if to see what caught his attention this night. Alfred tried to not openly stare but he couldn't help to take in the Count. He hadn't changed one bit in his appearance from nine years ago which made sense. Just like back then Alfred couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked. The perfect aristocrat. The perfect older gentleman with the first streaks of grey hair. Long-fingered hands with sharp nails stroking over the side of the books as he looked through them. Alfred felt his cheeks getting hot again. When Krolock looked up suddenly, Alfred averted his gaze in shame.

"Do you have something on your heart, Alfred?", Count von Krolock asked. Alfred lectured himself to let remain silent what needed to be kept silent. And anyway how not just inappropriate his thoughts had been, they also were highly dangerous in the presence of a vampire.

"No...no. I am sorry", Alfred said, trying to hide more behind his coat. Which suddenly seemed also very inappropriate for the setting. Alfred sat straighter. Then moved his arms to the leans on the side which now just made the coat on him look ridiculous. With red ears Alfred finally fidgeted and shuffled to fold the coat together and put it in his lap. Krolock watched him do so with more interest than this should have warranted.

"I...wanted to thank you", Alfred said, trying to ease the attention on him. "For back in Königsberg. You...you've taken me in that night after I had gotten the news about Anna and mother's death."

"So you remember again", the Count stated.

"Yes. Partially. I know that it had rained that night and that you'd taken me in when you found me. And that we had been sitting in your library while you comforted me. I...Thank you, Your Excellency." Krolock let the small smile show on his face this time.

"There is nothing to thank me for, Alfred. You were in distress and alone. Anyone with a sense of moral would have taken care of you."

"Still", Alfred disagreed quietly. "It meant a lot to me back then." Count von Krolock made it sound so normal. As if it wasn't worth mentioning. As if Alfred hadn't been which probably was true. It only made him think about the invitation and Alfred was now convinced that it had been boredom and necessity.

"I know", the Count said more softly now which made Alfred perk up. "I did not mean to insinuate any low worth of you with this answer. On the contrary. I had enjoyed our talk immensely. You've been an intelligent boy back then already. Worthy of university."

There was silence between them for a moment before Krolock opened the conversation this time: "I would like to continue our conversation if you don't mind. I think we've had started by talking about books you've had read already at that time. I suspect this list has lengthened by now?"

Alfred couldn't help but smile a little. It was dangerous to open himself up to the Count. The latter was a vampire after all. And still...Alfred found himself weak to the understanding the Count had bestowed upon him back then and the willingness to listen he still showed now. "It has, yes", he answered and then it took little prompting but a look from the Count for him to start talking.

"...one understands the theme of love between two warriors then. Even Alexander the Great proved their strength and misery in real life", Count von Krolock said with an elegant movement of his hand.

"No, he didn't", Alfred replied confused. "I have never heard nor read him and Hephaestus to be more than close friends. Nor are there such Greek stories you talk about." Krolock lifted his eyebrow in what seemed surprise before he smiled knowingly.

"Not in your university's books. And not in the lecture halls you've visited, talked to by old men who have to proof their worth above all else and only believe in God as means of such."

"Believing in God or not, and for what reason, still is no ground to accuse them of being the reason of why I never heard such Greek tales or their heroes and heroines", Alfred fired back with a confused huff.

"Ah, yes. They themselves might not be the reason. But over centuries new religion's purity campaigns and patriarchal views of society have done a thorough work of erasing all those, didn't they? The victor writes the history. And they have stripped even goddesses off their autonomy and the heroes of old off their love. All that is left is the scornful talk about Greek Vices. Achilles had wished to conquer Troy alone with his lover Patroclus and only gods could stop them. Alexander would have never become The Great without a lover like Hephaestus by his side and it took something as powerful as death to part them. To love another was their greatest accomplishment and yet the Modern Men denies them that. There are even laws against something as simple as love."

Alfred remained silent for a moment. Fearing what the Count had so nonchalantly remarked about love in the Greek tales to be a lure. A bait to not quieten the sin he'd hidden inside himself and Count von Krolock somehow knew about. Alfred felt a little panicked that he had somehow given himself away and not knowing with what. "There are laws, yes", he admitted with forced calm. "But there are also people fighting against it." Alfred distinctly remembered the group around August Bebel, just four years ago. They had tried to get Paragraph 175 abolished.

"And did the law changed in their favour?", Krolock asked in a tone that said that he already knew the answer.

"No", Alfred quietly admitted. Since the court hearing the government was pushing around drafts that had widened the law to explicitly women too. Nothing had been finalized yet but the work was there. A particular memory of his second year in university threatened to rise up in Alfred.

"It is a shame, isn't it?", Count von Krolock said. "To love someone is something so natural and so powerful. And yet the law and society tell us that only certain types are good and right."

Society and law had made Anna cover eight years old Alfred's mouth when he had started to talk about a boy in his class and compared it to Anna and Michael. Society and law had made her cry for him in fear. Society and law had made her tell him that, no matter how good and natural she deemed his attraction to be, repeated towards anyone else they could get him hurt and killed. Society and law had made Alfred promise his distressed sister to never talk like this about a boy again.

Years later, at the start of his second year at university, it had been the headmaster of the university that had beaten two lovers. Open on display in the courtyard for anyone to see. The two young men had tried to keep their cries and tears in as they were beaten with a cane on their naked skin. Alfred had nearly bitten his own lip bloody to keep quiet himself. Every beat he feared to suddenly feel himself and out himself like this. Some students around him had leered and insulted with shouts and cheers. Afterwards the two lovers had been taken away, barely able to walk upright in any form. To prison. They had been stripped off their rights and vanished. To never be talked about again.

The promise to Anna and the memory of bloody scratches on two lovers' backs where skin had ripped under rough wood had been and still was what made Alfred shut away this part of himself. The Silent Sins as the Prussians liked to call them. And yet Alfred had only felt fear of the outside world and never the scorching touch of hell they said would await him.

When he looked at Count von Krolock again he could feel that the Count already knew his thoughts. "Achilles and Patroclus, even Alexander and Hephaestus, would be beaten bloody on the street under cheers these days. Is that what you want to believe to be rightful?" Of course not. Nobody would want to deny oneself like this. But with the topic of love between men in the room Alfred's comfort had shattered. "Or how about your own monarchs? It was before your birth so you won't remember him personally but you still know his name. A Prussian monarch to not believe in God and to love men. Yet you know him as Friedrich the Great. Prussia's military hero. What of these two images do you hold true? The beaten Alexander or the acclaimed Friedrich?"

"You have yet to prove your claim", Alfred evaded an answer after moments of silence. Krolock's hand swayed to the side over the whole of his library.

"You are welcome to search. I can order Koukol to get you the according books." It was such a calm statement of confidence from the Count that Alfred became shameful of his own disbelief. The sound of men like him having been described as heroes was alluring if he was truthful with himself.

"I don't think your Professor shares the view of a natural, unharmful love. But tell me, what about your sister? Did she ever knew?" Of course she did, Alfred knew that the Count knew. It was a rhetorical question to make Alfred waver in his distance to the Count's view.

"Yes, she did." It was tragic for Alfred to realise that it worked. And that he was found out by the Count. Found out after maybe an hour of talk when Professor Abronsius hadn't in years.

"Your apprehension to believe me honours not just your scientific mind but more so your sense of self-preservation, dear Alfred. But although you might not believe me, you may want to believe her. She must have protected you, didn't she?" Alfred only nodded, defeated. The Count's voice grew softer again. "She didn't forbid you to feel this. She tried to protect you from a law that was made by bitter, conservative men who fear what they don't understand. You had the fortune of having such a compassionate sister. Had she had the fortune of living longer I am sure she would have been with you through all the pain you'd experienced for your desires."

There was something in Krolock's eyes though that caught Alfred's attention. Snatched him away from the anxiety inducing realisation that he was not only defeated in his defence but known too. It was the loneliness that seemed to have settled in Krolock's eyes during his statement about Anna. It was an odd thing to break through the composure of Krolock but it was there. And for the first time Alfred wondered.

He knew nothing about Krolock's family other than Herbert being his son. Had he had siblings once? Had his father been as strict and unforgiving as Alfred's? Had there been someone with him through the time when he had been turned?

The image of a lonely Krolock – hurting and burning up when he became a vampire and realizing what his life now was to be, with no one to watch over him – twisted like a shard in Alfred's heart and suddenly he felt sad for the centuries old being in front of him.

Anna had once warned him that he would love even a monster with that heart of his. Now he thought that she had been the one who had taught him how to. And that were she here with him she would feel the same compassion and sympathy for Krolock as Alfred did in this moment.

"Go to bed, Alfred", the quiet voice of the Count interrupted his thoughts. "You have a lot to think about." It was softly spoken and Alfred wondered if Krolock had heard his thoughts. His cheeks burned at that but he stood up, wished the Count a good night and left the library, relieved. But the castle suddenly felt so vast and empty.


	2. Chapter 2

_> >He opened the coffin again but it wasn't Count von Krolock that lay bedded in red silk. It was Sarah, dressed in a white gown. Alfred gasped in horror and tried to step back. Just for his back to collide with something solid. Someone solid._

_"Now, now, Alfred", the hushed, dark voice of the Count chided him. "You know what you have to do." In his hands suddenly lay the stake and the hammer. Alfred tried to squirm away but the Count's hands lay on his arms and caged him just so._

_Under Alfred's shaking hands lay the sleeping Sarah like an unsuspecting angel. Her hair fell open down her shoulders, her hands placed on her stomach as if she was already dead. Alfred whimpered and shook his head. He saw the blood rolling down her neck and into the red satin of the coffin inlay. Too late, too late. She was turned and lost and somehow it was his fault._

_"Through the heart, my boy", the Count whispered softly in his ear and a shudder ran through Alfred's body. "Between the sixth and seventh..."_

_Alfred pressed his lips together, shaking his head vehemently. Not wanting to finish the sentence. Long fingers closed around the hand that held the stake. The Count grinned and whereas his skin was cold, his breath hotly met Alfred's neck. Without him wanting his hand was pressed down, the tip of the stake on Sarah's chest - now clothed in the red dress._

_Harder he fought against the hand on his and the arm that had laid around his own chest. But no matter how hard he struggled, the Count didn't move. He couldn't break free. Tears started to fall down his face and whimpers left his mouth. The stake was pressed down a little harder against Sarah's body._

_"No!" A scream finally was torn from Alfred's lips. "Don't do this to her!"_

_"Oh, dear Alfred", the Count hushed. "She is already lost." Alfred grew weak in his arms. Wide eyes staring at Sarah in the coffin. How she laid in the crypt of the castle. Having died before she could truly live. Searching for freedom and never finding it. For a split second Alfred saw Anna laying there before it was Sarah again._

_The stake was gone and so was the hammer from his hand. The Count cradled his weak body. Long fingers stroking his hair back in a soothing manner. Alfred still felt caged but relieved that Sarah was out of danger. But she was still here. Locked in the castle and maybe soon in the crypt or graveyard. Because she had followed the promise of freedom._

_"Don't keep her", Alfred whispered._

_"And why shouldn’t I?"_

_"You promised her freedom. This isn't freedom. It's a cage."_

_"You're an intelligent boy, Alfred", the Count chuckled darkly and there was something like appreciation in his voice. Maybe even pride for Alfred. Twisted. "But what do I get out of this?" Alfred swallowed. He felt a finger stroke feather light over his jaw and down his neck. His throat clicked from dryness when he swallowed._

_"Me." The Count's only answer was a laugh that rumbled in his chest. And cold lips that touched Alfred's neck. <<_

Alfred shot up in his bed. His hands flailed through the air, trying to fight off the phantom weight of the Count from his dream while scooting away. His legs got tangled in the sheets and with a thud he landed on the floor. Alfred winced awake. He blinked.

The curtains of his room were once again closed but he could see the streaks of sunrise sneak past a gap between wall and curtain. How long had he slept? Why hadn't the Professor woken him up?

In panic Alfred ripped open the door that separated his and the Professor's room. His belongings were still there but the bed was empty. There came no answer when Alfred called for him. Alfred's heart thundered in his chest as he hastily threw himself in his clothes. Praying that nothing had happened to Professor Abronsius and fearing it all the same.

Alfred ran through the cold corridors of the castle, opening every door that he could and calling out for the Professor. Finally he stumbled back into the library. Avoiding to look at the armchairs by the fire Alfred hurried along the shelves.

At first he flinched when he saw a bowed person out of the corner of his eyes but then he turned and saw that it was Professor Abronsius. The old man sat at a small writing desk in a corner and wrote at length into his notebook. A tower of books stood on the window sill beside him, nearly swallowing all natural light streaming in.

"Professor", Alfred breathed out in relief.

"What is it? Oh, Alfred." Professor Abronsius eyeballed Alfred who was still trying to catch his breath. "Did you use the good weather for some toughening?"

"I...I thought...something had happened when you weren't in your room", Alfred answered. Professor Abronsius looked at him incomprehensible but then shook his head.

"Alfred, Alfred, it is the middle of the day. What did you think would have happened? Did you inspect the room?"

"Yes, I-"

"And did you find anything that hinted at a struggle?"

"No. But-"

"Then the conclusion should have been that I hadn't been attacked. You could have spared yourself the panic with some logic, boy." Alfred deflated a little at the scolding. The Professor was right. He had totally overreacted due to his frail nerves from the nightmare. "Now, I thought over the failed attempt to impale the Count yesterday. Maybe it is indeed better that way. Now we have the privilege to actually study the social interaction between vampires in a group. Nothing displays social status like an old-fashioned ball! And the Count has a nice array of books about such things."

Despite Professor Abronsius telling him to study up and giving him books Alfred couldn't comprehend any of the writings the rest of midday. His mind wandered back to the dream where he had nearly killed Sarah (but more so, nearly had killed Anna). From there to his dream intertwined with memory about Count von Krolock. To the conversation in the middle of the night. And then to Anna again. Only for this to remind of his latest dream again and start the circle all over.

By the time Koukol brought them a cold, late lunch, Alfred had a headache again. How had they only arrived two nights ago? How was it possible for his life to feel so upside down already? The Professor's continued lecture passed by Alfred and was lost in the younger's exhausted mind.

Alfred missed Anna's soothing but warm voice. Something Sarah came so close to, that by now Alfred wondered if he had ever loved Sarah for herself or for something else. If, like Anna had once observed at herself, he only had fallen in love with her because she seemed to promise something he thought he wanted out of life.

He felt the cold hold of reality two hours later when he realized that he had only fallen in love with Sarah so vehemently because she was a young woman he was supposed to fall in love with and found a family with. Loving Sarah promised him the healed world he'd so badly wanted since all had broken apart. The expected life he had always wanted to fulfil, if only to finally not be the outsider anymore.

Alfred felt faint from this discovery and hid his face in his hands. Emotionally he cradled his bleeding heart. Sitting by the window, illuminated by the clouded sunlight from outside, Alfred stared into the truth of his wants and lies. He loved Sarah but more in the way he had loved Anna. And that meant still too much love to let her die in this castle. Alfred had never been able to help Anna like she had helped him. But he could do right by Sarah now. If only he could find a way for her to find the freedom she wanted because he now knew why she wouldn’t want to leave on her own.

A little earlier than planned Alfred retired to his room. The Professor had told him to take a short nap so he would be awake and alert enough tonight for the ball. The ball Alfred had been invited to by Count von Krolock. The ball the Professor wanted to disguise himself for and observe. The ball Sarah would be at and, Alfred was sure of that, would become a vampire herself. Out of love for the idea of freedom and opportunity the Count seemed to represent to her. Alfred felt exhausted just thinking about the scenario that seemed to be set in stone.

After he had stepped into his room, he wondered for a second if he had taken the wrong door. But when he looked away from his bed, he found his belongings where he had left them in the late morning. With a thundering heart Alfred closed the door behind him.

On the bed laid a stack of clothes. They had been neatly folded and without touching them Alfred knew how fine of a threat they were. His fingers still reached out and shyly touched them. He shuddered when he felt their quality. There was little mistake as to why they were here and that they truly were for Alfred. He had been invited to the ball and as it seems the Count had wanted to make sure that he was appropriately dressed.

Alfred stared at the ensemble on his bed. The finest clothes of the more streamlined cut of the Regency Era and of the darkest blue Alfred had ever seen. 'Midnight blue', something in his mind whispered with a smug grin. Like the Count had gifted Sarah the red dress he had gifted Alfred the blue suit. Like dressing up puppets to play with them. Even if just out of boredom, in Alfred's case, unlike the actual interest the Count seemed to have shown towards Sarah.

In that moment Alfred knew that he had to talk to the Count before the ball somehow. If Sarah was only a doll to prettily dress and discard once the Count had gotten his joy out of her... Alfred couldn't let her go through this. To once again be caged, not in the inn of her father but the castle instead. Sarah wouldn't be able to take it, Alfred was sure of this. But he knew that he would be able to. His whole life he had lived on the side-line – quiet and forgotten. Being discarded by the Count wouldn't hurt him. He now only needed to convince the Count of finding him interesting enough to agree to a deal. And not work himself into hysterics beforehand. For Sarah.

Koukol hurried towards Krolock as the Count left his clothing room in order to prepare the greeting of his brood. His servant looked a little more disgruntled than usual.

"What is it, Koukol?", he asked. His servant gave him to understand with grunts and words barely making it past his paralyzed jaw that Alfred waited for him in the library. Krolock lifted an eyebrow at that but he supposed this was to be expected. He had given the young man a lot to think about (maybe had helped further with dreams because he was pressed for time) and more so he had the younger's love in his thrall. It proposed to become an interesting affair now.

When Krolock entered the library silently, he took a moment to take Alfred in. The young man was dressed in the clothes Krolock had provided him and as expected, he looked noble in them. His skin made paler by the contrasting dark blue and his posture made a little straighter by the cut of the clothes that accentuated his young body beautifully. Alfred still seemed to hunch a little in insecurity but it wasn't as noticeable as usual. Truly, Alfred looked perfect to fit right in with the aristocracy and Krolock was pleased with that.

"I see you have found the clothes", Krolock drew attention to his arrival. "They fit you well." Alfred turned towards him with a swift motion. For a full moment the young man stared before he cleared his throat with a blush.

"Thank you very much, Your Excellency." Krolock had half a heart to let Alfred struggle anxiously a little more in the awkward silence while he thought about how to begin. But there was a ball to host and so Krolock took pity on him.

"Koukol said you wanted to talk to me about something that couldn't wait." Alfred stood straighter and nodded while starring stubbornly forward somewhere around Krolock's chest area. Krolock could practically hear his heart hammering nervously between his ribs.

"I know you are a vampire", it blurted out of Alfred and immediately he looked terrified. "And-and", he continued to catch himself from the mishap in whatever speech he had prepared. "I know that you have interest in Sarah." Krolock could barely hold back his smirk.

"That are some solid facts", Krolock remarked. "You named out the monster I am." And there was something like fleeting indignation in Alfred's eyes that fluttered shortly up to meet his before he lowered them back towards Krolock's chest region.

"I don't think you're a monster. I don't believe you to be as heartless as you like to portray yourself." Which spoke more about Alfred than about Krolock but he let him continue. "You did take care of Sarah and haven't harmed her yet. Whatever reason, there is an emotion behind this, someone heartless can't be capable of. And you've shown sympathy when you had found me in Königsberg. I was alone and vulnerable. You could have killed me that day. But you didn't."

"It would have been too grotesque, even for me, to kill you the day you were informed about your mother and sister's deaths."

"A heartless monster wouldn't have cared." Krolock was quiet, wondering if he should point out the way he had manipulated him even back then. Just to make the counterpoint. But he wanted Alfred to trust him for now. Alfred continued to speak with clenched fists and looking now directly at Krolock:

"You are still of noble enough nature that I want to ask you...I want...I beg you to not do injustice to Sarah by using her like a plaything." Ah, there it was. Krolock had planned to get Alfred over his little crush on the girl. With the Professor as deficient mentor and his unprocessed mourning for Anna it all had been rather easy. Krolock wasn't sure if he was maybe a little disappointed in Alfred for falling so quickly to Krolock's scheme.

"Don't take Sarah tonight. You can have me instead." If he had had less self-control and dignity above all, Krolock would have spluttered in what came close to surprise. Maybe intrigue. Alfred's heart was pounding by now and he was blushing furiously but he held Krolock's silent stare like a proud little Prussian soldier.

"I beg your pardon?", Krolock only managed to get out though still calm enough to feign disinterest.

"She wanted freedom from you. You promised her that but now you'll only put her in a golden cage again", Alfred nearly accused him and with swelling fascination Krolock saw something like anger enter the young man's eyes. "She deserves better than that. You have an interest in her, unlike with me. I am aware that it wasn't affection that made you invite me to the ball. Maybe boredom, maybe only to have your guests feed on me. I am aware that I am of no interest to you. But I will still offer myself in her place. I will stay with you or out of your way as you wish. But you need to promise to let her go free. Because to toy with a wish so deeply rooted, so unobtainable for someone like her..." Alfred seemed to stall for a moment as to not backtrack on what he had said before. "...It would make you something worse than a monster."

It was beyond a surprise for Krolock what Alfred offered. He hadn't come to beg to stay with Sarah, as Krolock had anticipated. Or to make some deal to let them both (well, three) go unharmed before the ball. Instead he threw himself in harm's way, bargaining for this girl's life like there was nothing more precious to save. He threw himself before Krolock who embodied so many thinks he supressed and feared to come out. There was a naivety in it that made Krolock nearly condescending.

"Do you try to appeal to my good heart?", he asked. "It doesn't exist."

"It maybe doesn't. But you have noble senses. You know what you do is not freeing her but destroying her the second she realizes that she is trapped again. And you know how that feels, don't you, Your Excellency?" Oh, the guts Alfred had in this very moment. The cutting observation and conclusion he had made. "If you don't mind putting her in that position then you can't claim genuine interest in herself as a companion. And then it shouldn't make a difference to you if it is me or her." There was a comment laying on Krolock's lips about the inevitability of Sarah falling into the darkness but more so he only wanted to dig deeper into Alfred, maybe offend him a little bit more to test him, before burying his teeth in the metaphorical meat that was his offer.

"So you think she will know what to do with her freedom? There is little aspiration in her now than to get away from the village and to see what she had only read about. To experience the joys the peasant life can't offer her. You think this alone will guide her? Make her happy in the end, away from her family?" Something flared up in Alfred's eyes while his body made a slight motion as to withdraw himself from Krolock.

"Is that why you want to keep her? Because you are unable to understand what she might find out in the world? Do you think so little of the very woman you courted? Or is it because you too think women so beneath yourself? So free of intelligence and aspiration outside of love and a household?"

Alfred seemed very hurt by that thought because he clearly had put Krolock above such thinking. Above the same patterns as his own father. The Count could only feel satisfaction. There was the fire he had seen in Alfred back in Königsberg. Just like when he had defended the notion of his sister's death being somehow dishonourable. The indignation and resulting anger at injustice made his eyes twinkle so brightly with life and let his cheeks blush.

"I remember to have once offended you with a notion perceived just the same way before", Krolock reflected with a warmer tone. "And now I stand again before this accusation from you."

"Then answer to it!" Oh, he looked so beautiful in his fury. Even with the wetness in his eyes reflecting the light of the fireplace. So alive as if the burning light of his anger could illuminate Krolock's darkness for a century or two longer than the usual mortals Krolock caught for himself. His cold immortality wanted to bow before this display of fiery mortality.

"And answer I shall." Krolock stepped a bit closer, noticing the instinctual draw back Alfred's body wanted to make but that his mind supressed. "I do not hold women to such low faith. Sarah, if guided, will become an inspiring, intelligent woman. I am very sure of that. And I am sure that she will learn to love her life in the night, just as she knew how to enjoy the one in her cage so far. Furthermore it lays far from my intention to insult women like your sister who has fought so valiantly for you against your father on the cost of her own aspirations."

Alfred calmed down a little at that. Without much strain Krolock could hear his thoughts. The panic settling in that Alfred's anger had put a wrench in his plan to offer himself. That the Count surely wouldn't want someone so recalcitrant when he could have someone soft like Sarah. Krolock though amused that Sarah had just as much spikes as Alfred which had made the two young people so interesting in the first place.

"As for your accusation about my intentions towards you", Krolock continued. "I feel rather offended by your honest thought that I only invited you out of such lower notion like boredom or use for the ball." He made himself sound more affronted than he was and Alfred ducked his head. His thoughts screaming in confusion because he had convinced himself his whole life that nobody would want his company. So this and pity must have been the only reasons Krolock had spared him in Königsberg. With a played sigh Krolock stepped even closer now, face smoothing out again.

"It wasn't that I didn't found you intriguing in Königsberg. But the laws of my kind had stayed my hand and more so my hope that you'll become the great man your sister had seen in you. In truth..." Krolock stood so close now that Alfred finally looked up at him, tipping his head back to find Krolock's eyes and displaying his throat so wonderfully. Krolock thought that he could get used to this image. He bowed down slightly, the smell of Alfred's rushing blood hot in the air now. "...I desired you since that very night. And to hear of you being so close again, I couldn't let the opportunity to see you again pass by. Do you find it in yourself to blame me for that?"

Alfred shook his head slightly, eyes widened at the confession. It was so adorable to see him teeter on the edge of his desire, still fighting not to give away what Krolock already knew. "Maybe...", Krolock whispered to drive the point home. "...I am a monster for not wanting to let you go now either. I hadn't such enjoyable company in a long time." His hand was gliding down Alfred's arm and encircling his wrist. His thumb pressed over the pulse and he could feel the driving beat of his heart as his mind processed it all.

"Oh." It was a little overwhelmed sound that left Alfred's mouth. Krolock could feel the last defence against trusting him crumble. The Count enjoyed to image what other sounds Alfred would be able to make under him. For now though he needed to set the boundaries. There was no going back anymore.

"I cherish your offer, Alfred. But the guests are here and I cannot spare your Sarah tonight. She's already more one of us than still of you." There was distress in Alfred's eyes at that but Krolock continued to soothe him: "But we can make a compromise. I shall help her travel wherever she wants once she has learned to control herself and her lust for blood. That is what I can promise in return for you staying with me."

It was an unfair bargain, Krolock knew this. He would still have both of them and he would be able to send Sarah away once it turned out, she couldn't heal Krolock either. It would be one short-lived love less in his cemetery. And he would be able to keep Alfred who would always be able to offer his thirst for knowledge as driving point of their conversations.

The young man seemed a little overwhelmed for a moment under the subtle touch of Krolock's fingers on his hand. So touch-starved that this little press against his wrist and back of his hand made it hard to think for him. Krolock wondered how long until this novelty would fate. Or until he could ruin Alfred in a different way with his touch. A little annoyed he once again realized where Herbert had his antics from.

"Then we have a deal?", Alfred finally stuttered out. "I stay with you as-as...I stay with you and you won't keep her here."

"We have a deal", Krolock agreed with a smirk. He took a step back and kissed Alfred's knuckles. The younger man shuddered under the touch. "I see you at the ball, my dear Alfred. Keep to my son."

Since they had stood before the gates of the castle Alfred had thought that there was a trap somewhere with the Count. As the door closed behind Krolock, Alfred finally felt that trap snap shut. And he surrendered to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun DUN!  
> If you want to scream at me for this ending, or rant about KrolFred some more: my tumblr is tiefgelegte-hochstaplerin ;)  
> In any way, I wish you a good week and better times ahead :3


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